My most embarrassing breastfeeding moment.

I was a new(er) mom then, I didn’t realize babies can sense confidence and will exploit it. I think it is just their way of reminding us who is truly in charge. All I know is feeling confident was my downfall. This story is the embarrassing moment that my brain replays when I can’t sleep; so, I’ve decided to tell the internet about it.

Little Bug was six months old, and we were on our final flight home to Japan. She has always been a good flyer, even on this first trip. And even though it was just the two of us, we were rocking it. I felt like super mom. People commented how they didn’t even realize there was a baby on the flights we had been on so far, and I thought I knew what I was doing.

Spoiler alert! I never know what I’m doing.

The best part of this flight was the third seat in our row was empty, and J would be waiting for us at the airport to take the baby, tell me how much he missed me, and I could nap the whole way home. The worst part of flying then was trying to nurse in the tiny seats. Little bug did not nurse in the cradle position, but only in the football hold.

a sweet and easier way to nurse a baby on a plane
Excuse me sir, my baby needs your entire seat to eat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This meant instead of trying not to bump elbows, I was trying not to bump people with my entire baby.

But this time with the free seat I had it made. Little Bug’s car seat was the window seat (car seats must not block anyone from exiting your row so they always get the window seat). I sat in the middle seat, back against her car seat, feel in the aisle seat finally semi-comfortable and ready to feed my baby. Please note that I am facing out towards the rest of the passengers.

I also figured it was about time for Little Bug to fall asleep. So instead of using a cover, because I was feeling confident, I decided just to drape us with a swaddler. This way as Little Bug fell peacefully asleep I could simply use it as her blanket, and not worry about struggling with the cover and the sleeping baby.

Everything was going perfect. I leaned back against the car seat and shut my eyes and it happened.

All at once Little Bug pulled the blanket over herself, unlatched, laid flat in my lap, and screamed like she was being murdered. Our fellow passengers looked over to see me facing out toward the aisle with a screaming blanket on my lap and my boob shooting milk out like it was auditioning for a role as a squirt gun.

I panicked.

I untangled Little Bug from the blanket, and tried to put her back on the boob only to squirt milk in her face and make her scream louder. I grabbed her blanket and dried her off, held her on my dry side and bounced and shushed until the screaming stopped and I laid her down in her car seat.

I was mortified, but thought at least I will never see any of these people again after the next eight hours is over, and then I realized it. I never put my boob away or my shirt down. It was still out. I was just sitting in the airplane without baby trying to eat with my entire boob out. And at that exact moment Little Bug laughed at her mirror, but I’m 85% sure she knew, and was laughing at me. She had reminded me who was in control.

 

 

In case you were wondering the rest of the flight was uneventful until landing when Little Bug projectile vomited all over everything. Did I have extra clothes for me? No. Rookie mistake; learn from me. We got to J and he scooped up the baby just like I imagined then turned to me and said. “Ugh, you smell like puke.” It was pretty close to how I imagined it all I guess.

 

 

Tot Tube (non-annoying toys series)

First in the series is The Tot Tube

Real life shot in the play room. I would say excuse the mess, but it is a play room. It is going to be messy.

It is so simple and allows for creative play. Plus, it’s easy to share, which makes it a favorite for Little Bug’s play dates. You can feel good when your kids play with because they are learning. The clear center helps kids develop object permanence, but until they do it is basically a giant magic trick.

Don’t think your kid will limit themselves to just roll cars down it. Oh no, the tube comes apart into three sections and these are the perfect mega phones; which I will admit is a tad annoying. Little Bug has also used it as a bridge, castle towers, a cannon, and drum sticks. Also, it is a sturdy plastic so you don’t have to worry about it getting wet or being left outside overnight.

Honestly, I like this thing so much we mailed it to ourselves when moved to Germany so Little Bug would have it when we got here. Thankfully it comes apart and goes together easily for grown ups so no need for us to ship a screwdriver to get it back together.

The best part? No electronics so no dinging, flashing lights, or changing batteries. Did I mention the price point is nice to?

Click the picture to check it out and have a less annoying December 25th.

Unavoidable Grocery Store Tantrums

Scrolling Facebook I saw a post by an acquaintance complaining about a kid throwing a tantrum in the grocery store, and they had typed “My kids never threw a fit in public”.

Scrolling Facebook I saw a post by an acquaintance complaining about a kid throwing a tantrum in the grocery store, and they had typed “My kids never threw a fit in public”.

No, for real. She typed that lie down on the internet. Forever there will be a record of this ridiculous lie. I don’t need to see that negativity in my life so I unfollowed her lightning fast (unfriending can cause drama, unfollow is the way to go).

Maybe you think she isn’t lying and she is just a better parent than the rest of us. I know this is a lie because if that were true they all would have starved to death long ago.

Grocery stores do something to kids. It might be the florescent lighting, or maybe all the vegetables they don’t like so close to them, whatever it is all kids have had a meltdown in a grocery store. Sure, you can just leave and take your screaming kid so they don’t disturb others, but then you’re going to a restaurant. We all know that people are a lot less tolerant of screaming kids in restaurants, and parents deserve more than drive through fast food for every meal.

There are only two options. One your child will have a tantrum in public. Two your child never has a tantrum in public, but you all starve to death before age three.

Lying to the world about how perfect your kids are is just annoying, but publicly judging a parent for a normal childhood behavior not only makes you a crappy person, it can really hurt a parent who is struggling. I have gotten in my car and sat in tears after horrible public tantrums, and I know I’m not alone.

I propose we start showing some love to the parents with screaming kids in the grocery store. And not the thing where you go up and try to interact with the screaming kid. That doesn’t always help, and nothing makes my toddler freak out more than a stranger in her space.

Next time you see a frazzled parent with their screaming kid behind you in the check-out line buy them a chocolate bar. Tell them you know kids are jerks sometimes. That way even if they still need to sit in the car and cry for a few minutes they have a snack and a spot of kindness to focus on.

For the record, I prefer Kit-Kats. signature

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Articles I needed in the first year of motherhood.

How to disable google searches for children’s medical conditions

How to handle not being invited (Even though you couldn’t go anyway!)

How to disable google searches for children’s medical conditions

How to handle not being invited (Even though you couldn’t go anyway!)

Mastitis: normal or a sign that the universe hates you?

The Dr. finally okayed sex. How to lie to your partner about it.

Netflix is life. The saga of cluster feedings.

Night shift and a new baby. Do you even have a spouse?

What to do when your post-partum anxiety is taking over your life. (Spoiler! It’s those drugs the doctor wants you to take.)

Supplementing isn’t child abuse; fed is best.

When crying it out gives your dog anxiety.

Babywearing! Bonding experience or online shopping addiction?

How to make the perfect Instagram post showing off you are fitting in pre-pregnancy jeans.

It’s time to wean! How to make your boobs look good now that they’re pancaked shaped.

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Stop touching me. A letter to my toddler.

Hi, it’s me, your mama. I know you can’t read, but nothing else seems to be getting through to you. And if we’re being totally honest, I have as much luck getting you to listen to a letter I post on the internet as I do asking you something approximately ONE THOUSAND times.

Hi, it’s me, your mama. I know you can’t read, but nothing else seems to be getting through to you. And if we’re being totally honest, I have as much luck getting you to listen to a letter I post on the internet as I do asking you something approximately ONE THOUSAND times.  Anyway, let’s get to the point of this.

I am sick.

I know it’s hard to tell since seeing me vomit, the movie marathon, and daddy waking up to go get you lunch could mean anything, but no really, I am pretty sick.

This means I just really don’t want you to body slam me, pretend I’m a horse, or even kick your feet off my face.

NOW CALM DOWN, this doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore. It will be fine if you lay next to me.

O.K. well not next to me because I don’t like it when you pull my hair. No, I don’t need a pony tail like Moana. I am in fact not going to find the heart of Te Fiti (Tafiti? Goggle doesn’t even know!).

Also, while I really appreciated it when you were the doctor trying to make me better, I really don’t like wooden blocks pushed directly into my eyeballs so we’re done with that.

I mean fine you can lay in my lap, but just be still…. NO DON’T CALL THE DOG OVER PLEASE.

Fine you win. signature

Buying Time

I never have enough time. I mean, no one I know ever has enough time. Trying to make plans seem to turn into conversations about just how busy we are.

 

I never have enough time. I mean, no one I know ever has enough time. Trying to make plans seem to turn into conversations about just how busy we are. Because, of course, Little Bug has daycare that day and those are my homework/ meal prep/ Netflix days. Fridays might work, but only late afternoon because its Parent and me ballet and she needs her bonding time with her dad. Well next week is just crazy… I mean you get it we ALL get it.

I’ll never forget when I started college back, we had found a three day a week morning daycare for Little Bug and my grandmother said to me, “What will you do with all your free time with the baby gone?”. Parents know there no free time there. Free time isn’t seen in houses with small children unless you live near grandparents that like to babysit, or are rich and have an awesome nanny that probably makes you feel inferior, but who cares you can go get a smoothie alone! Finding ways to get time is my secondary goal in life (my first is not to raise a sociopath, I like to aim high). It has even become a currency in my marriage; we bargain for it; trading chores for naps and promises to take the baby along for errands time if you can just please take her down to the park for an hour.

I read this article from NPR a while back about using money to buy time. I thought about how we spent money and none of it was truly making our lives easier or better. So, I decided to go for it and bought one of those meal planning grocery delivery services. It is the best thing I have ever bought. The recipes are things I would have never tried on my own, and all so quick to make. Tonight, were these awesome sweet potato and cheese tacos with homemade salsa. See how fancy it looks? It makes me feel like a culinary rockstar. Besides the meal delivery I have made a point to use quick recipes like feature in this cookbook.

But really the important thing is, today instead of me sitting on Pinterest meal planning and running to the grocery store, we had a family tea party before J went to work and no one was worried about how busy we were. signature